All the Times a Cell Phone Would Have Been Useful in HP & Chamber of Secrets: A List. (Movie edition)

Well. As the title says, if a cell phone (or a normal phone; hell, even a pay phone) were to work in the Wizarding World, you would have a very thin story. It baffles me that the wizards don’t have some sort of telephone equivalent. I mean… talking through fireplaces? What if you live in a tiny little flat that doesn’t have a fireplace?

In any case, here are all the moments in the second film where *I* think a cell phone would be useful (feel free to add more)

…… obligatory spoiler warnings ahead ⚠️

  • Harry thinking all his friends have abandoned him because they haven’t sent him a letter via owl post. (Check your email, Harry. I’m sure Hermione would use the internet when she’s home).
  • The Weasleys coming by flying car to investigate why Harry hasn’t answered their letters.
  • Harry getting lost in Diagon Alley (side note: what’s up with Knockturn Alley? Why is there such a sketchy looking place right next to the Disneyland of the HP world?; side note 2: the Weasley family didn’t seem all to concerned that Harry hadn’t gotten to Diagon Alley..)
  • Harry and Ron getting stuck on the wrong side of platform 9 3/4 (okay. So this one actually gets pointed out in the book; That they could’ve just WAITED for the parents to come back, instead of panicking and flying the car. But honestly. Any kid with a cell phone would automatically think “I’ll just call/text/whatsapp my parents” before they would think “I know. I’ll take the illegal flying car. And leave my family stranded at the station.”)
  • When Hermione figures out what the monsters is and rushes out of the library with a torn piece of paper. (As if Hermione would ever desecrate a book, let alone a library book!!); A whatsapp or fb messenger group would have been real handy at that point. “Guys. It’s a basilisk using the pipes to travel. Carry a mirror to check corners so that you don’t look directly at it.”
  • Aragog. If they HAD gotten eaten by the spiders, they could’ve gotten a video out first. (Handheld cell phone footage of that scene from Ron’s perspective would be AWESOME.)
  • When Ron gets trapped in a cave-in with Lockhart. I can see the text. “I’m trapped beneath the school with a lunatic. Send help.”
  • And finally: Any time in the *entire series* where Dumbledore is away and there’s an emergency. 🤷🏽‍♀️

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